Uncle Philbert: Lead vocals, mandolin and other instruments that he hasn’t quite mastered (guitar, Dobro, Intellituner). Loves to hang out with bluegrass musicians and hopes one day to be mistaken for one.

Patty-Jo: Fiddle, bow, tenor vocals. The only female member of the band, whose interests include travelling, meeting people and helping on well-publicised social care projects. Plays a very interesting 1930s Gibson violin that she doesn’t own.

Gramps Turner: 4 ½ string banjo. Master forger and motorbike stroker, he possesses an unpleasant singing voice and does not contribute to the band vocals by mutual consent.

The Outlaw Jon Hardy: Guitar, baritone vocal harmony (boring to sing and almost inaudible). A born-again amnesiac, he has been a devotee of bluegrass music for as long as he can remember. Always wears black, which is very slimming.

Big Dick: Contra bass (oh, no it’s not). Retired aircraft herder, he also plays for the only trad American under water dance group, “The Aquallachians”

Rocky Chihuahua: Security and catering advisor. A dogged individual of few words, the band always takes his lead.